Only Because I Love You
by Ifahkinglovesloths
Summary: Sadstuck!Gamzee is nearing a time when his true subjugglator nature will show, and Capricorn decides to 'save' Gamzee from himself.


Uhm, First story(: so tell me what you think?  
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Capricorn knew this day would come, he swam slowly not wanting to rush the inevitable. He loved Gamzee so much, and felt bad that this was the only reason he was visiting after nearly a sweep. Swimming to the shore he could see his nestlings tacky hive. He thought to himself 'Is this really nesessary?' That maybe he was different, that Gamzee could be saved. But he quickly dismissed the thought. He'd been a fool to think like that once he saw his young ward, in and out of screaming rages that not even he could calm. It broke his heart to see the young troll like that. Luckily, he had still not hurt anyone yet, and was for the most part the same, disconnected Gamzee... But Capricorn knew it wouldn't be like this much longer.  
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Gamzee was busy on pesterchum, talking with his bro, Tavros, going on about miracles and awesome shit like that. He had went outside for some fresh air and in the distance, saw a white spot coming up to shore. The purple blooded troll only stared before realizing it was his lusus! Oh, happy day! His precious, loving lusus was coming to visit him again! Gamzee could barely contain his excitement, sending a quick message to Tavros and throwing his phone to the ground to run to Goatdad.

Gamzee bolted to greet his lusus, who he hadn't seen in what felt like forever. It was an awkward run and he tripped over himself a couple of times, but it didn't slow him any. Once he got close enough he leaped into a sort of attack hug kind of thing, falling off when his Goatdad gave a huff. Gamzee was smiling, so much it hurt the right side of his face, it looked odd, his smiles were always lopsided and silly looking. Little things like that made Capricorn feel guilty. Made him think that maybe if he was there more, he could've taught Gamzee the simplest things, that apparently Gamzee had a hard time teaching himself. He didn't know so many things, and his lusus could tell just by looking. Gamzee was a mess; dirty, his shirt soaked in sopor (as well as his hair), claws dull and uneven, his body past slender, a canine tooth of his broken, and worst was a harsh bite to his collar bone area. All could've been avoided too, had Capricorn spent just a little more time with him. 'I could've taught him to swim, to hunt, to fight... I could've taught him to just know how to properly /live/' But he quickly put those thoughts to rest and told Gamzee to come with him. That he had a suprise for him, and deep down he hoped Gamzee would question him, just be a little suspicious, notice something was off... But of course he didn't. He waded into the water as far as he could with his feet still reaching the floor.

He met Gamzee's gaze, his young eyes filled with curiosity and trust...so much trust... it made the old seagoat want to hurl himself into oblivion for even thinking of doing such a despicable thing to him. He only nuzzled Gamzee before pushing him onto his back, answering no questions and continuing to head forward. Gamzee smiled lazily "so goatdad, where we all up 'nd heading to?" He asks, his voice trailing off mid sentence as if he'd forgotten what he was asking. Capricorn opens his mouth, only to close it with a huff, finding no words. A minute or so passes silently before Gamzee speaks up again. " seagoat, you BETTER MOTHERFUCKIN ANSWER ME." He paused for a moment, and can feel his heart sink into the bottomless pit of the ocean after hearing his youth's words.

'There is no hope. There was never any hope, how stupid you had been for thinking otherwise. It is his fate.' Capricorn thinks solemnly to himself before letting Gamzee off his coat, and it's as if he'd never said it, you wouldn't be able to tell by looking at him, because the Gamzee he sees was not the subjugglator he had heard. The seagoat nuzzled him one last time before saying "We're here young one.." holding back tears as he watched Gamzee look around, slightly baffled. He looked up at his lusus again, and can clearly tell somethings wrong.

"Goatdad? What's going on?" He reaches over and pets a soft tuft of his fur trying to comfort his lusus. 'Goatdad' can feel his stomach twist as he leans in and pushes his purple blood gently under the water. He can feel Gamzee struggle and come back up, looking at him with horror and confusion in his eyes, reaching in again to pet him, rejected when the large seagoat pushes him back into the dark abyss. His slender arms begin to flail about, trying to grab onto his fur and pull himself up. Gamzee came up once again, gasping, and staring at the creature. "I'm sorry," He said quickly, knowing he had only seconds before he'd be submerged again. His lusus paused. "I don't know what I did, but I'm so motherfuckin' sorry... I love you Goatdad" Gamzee finished the last part with a somber smile, like that would make it all better. His caretaker found it nearly impossible to move after that, every part of him breaking. But he knew this was for the best. He wanted Gamzee to die...as Gamzee, not a Subjugglator. He pushed Gamzee down with more force this time, making sure he wouldn't be able to come back up again. Gamzee's whole body began to quake and search for a way around his gigantic lusus. Slowly, the severity of the current situation began to sink into his sopor filled thinking pan that he wasn't going to come up, and his fear quickly turned to rage. He started to rip and tear at his lusus' skin underneath a thick coat of matted fur. How could his lusus do this to him? Gamzee didn't understand, what did he do wrong?

Capricorn couldn't hold his tears back any longer and began to sob, trying to quite his young, but to no avail. 'Why couldn't it happen quicker? Gog, put us both out of misery..' Capricorn thought as he felt Gamzee tear at his skin. It felt like ages before Gamzee's thrashing began to quite down, and his claws and fangs turned to just weak holds and pathetic hits, as last attempts to convince his lusus to let him up. Gamzee could feel his lungs burn for air, his head pound and throb, his legs began to give, and his arms felt like he was holding a sacks of bricks. It took only a few more moments before Gamzee let go, feeling water fill his lungs to to the brim, his eyes burning both from tears and from the sting of the seawater. Nothing hurt anymore, too tired to even feel betrayed or heartbroken... Just tired... He could feel himself start to sink into the dark nothingness of the ocean and before he let himself sleep he watched his Goatdad swim, leaving Gamzee to slowly sink to the bottom... to be forgotten, but always loved..

End.


End file.
